okay, so As i woke up, I decided that today should be the first real day of my diet.

I know ive tryed many many times before, but itnormally dosnt last longer than a week.

So, now, this time, is real.


I have never been told i actually need to loose weight before. Its alwyas been some peosonal goal of mine. But thelast time I went to see the doctor she gave my mom some fylers for local support grups of weight management.

I dont know, that really upset me.

but I guess its for the best.

We(mom and I) are going to get a one year membership to some gym, i think mybe curves or something, because you know, thats where the fat people go.

Oh and also, the doctor recommended that i go get blood drawn to seeif why my weight gain is because of a thyriod infection.
So I got the blood drawn, and itsnot a complete thyroid thing, but now I know that for the rest of my life i will always have to cout callories.


Because Im

fat

.


K end of story, I better get back to my diet.

Dont you have thoes friend who you just cant descride?
You know they mean alot to you, but.. just cant put them in place.

I dont know, maybe its just me. But I feel like I have to organize my friends.

Either in list, or circles.

hmm, this dosnt make since.

oh well.


best friend ever

Well, i've got my self into some shit, Its kind of a long story. but Ive got all the time in the world now.

So this summer I went to Japan. I raised money for two years to go with this group of kids.
all went great untill the last two weeks in Kumomoto. Japan is just set up differently than here. I mean almost everything is different. so I found out that in japan, it is very easy to shoplift. So Yeah. thats what I did.
I actualy got way out of hand with it.

The day I was caught, I was caught with 11200 yen worth of stuff. thats abot 120 dolars in american money. Since I wasnt with my parents or anything, the woman that runs the group I was with called my mom, and she had to fly out to Japan to bring me back.
If I was a year older than I am, I would have been put in jail and deported.

I came real close. actually 3 months real close.

The woman who runs the group, Jo anne, was very very very mad at me. but thats a bit understandable. I would guess.

and you see, My boyfriend was in the same group that went to japan with me. So anyone would assume that I wasnt the only one that was shoplifting. But instead of Jo anne just asking taylor and Blaine if they had been too, she told them that I ratted them out.
Blaine Denied it. But Taylor admitted it. So on the second to last day we had there, taylors dad arrived in japan.

So basically, ive spent this last month getting fat and watching TV.

Its really great. Just not really.
at all.

today I got to see my Bff Allison.

Its good to see friends after so long.



I guess I could have a realy negative look at all this, but actually, I think this kicked me back in place. I know I was getting out of controll with everything. I barely passed 7th grade, drugs, evrything I used to not want to be, I had become.

Im not saying Im going to completly change, just im going to be alot more serius about things. especially school in general.

I want to find something that Im good at. Like actually good good at.
I need a future. I have only been living in the present, and think what happends happends.
And I guess that wasnt really working out for me.



so through out this school year, Im hoping to find somthing to occupy my time.
that I could possibly have a future in.

so this is all.

kay. end.